


All I Could Do Was Cry

by Sixx_Jett96



Series: All I Could Do Was Cry [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:26:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23614465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixx_Jett96/pseuds/Sixx_Jett96
Summary: Nessira Amriel is the Daughter of a Superior Admiral of the First Order. He is having a little trouble keeping her under control. So what is the natural thing to do? Set up and arrangement with the Supreme Leader to betroth her to Commander Ren. It kills two birds with one stone. But for a girl who wants nothing more to leave, what will come of her obligation to stay?
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Series: All I Could Do Was Cry [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1699792
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

"This is the last time you will do this, Nessira," Admiral Amriel, Nessira's father yelled at her as she was escorted back to her quarters by two guards. She had tried to run off again, away from the First Order, much to the Admiral's dismay.

"Oh really? And how exactly do you plan to stop me, father? I'll be more thorough next time, you won't know I'm gone until I'm halfway across the galaxy," Nessira spat back. The guards, clad in their armor had immediately turned and the young woman's automatic doors shut, for good this time, Nessira feared. Admiral Amriel sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. The girl had attempted to flee at least three times before, getting closer and closer each time. 

"I just don't know what I am to do with you, girl. Your duties are here, why can't you just accept that and do as you are told? You are far too reckless, like your mother," Those words he spoke cut to Nessira's very core. How dare he speak of her. All she wanted was to get away from all of this, she believed she could do so much more than sit around, like a prize to be won. Most of the other higher-up's daughters and sons were married off already. She did not want the life she was fated to have. She said nothing to him, sat on the bed and faced away. The Admiral got the message and turned on his heels and out the door he went, to speak to someone he knew could fix the problem, that was, his daughter.

Nessira took the bag she had packed with all of her essentials and stashed it away in the hidden compartment in her wall, ready to grab at a moment's notice. She never really knew when the chance to flee again would be. The raven-haired woman then walked into the bathroom to inspect the damage of her escape attempt. She was filthy, from and old ship she had hopped on and her clothes were tattered and torn from her being apprehended. The shower was running not five minutes later and she stepped inside, letting the droplets cascade over her face and body. Once she was out she felt less grimy and more determined than ever to get out of this hell she was born into. 

On her bed there was a box tied with a red ribbon, on it there was a typed card. It read, "I can't imagine you forgot the event tonight. I assumed that's why you were trying to run. Put this on, you are expected to impress. -Admiral Amriel." Lovely, he didn't even sign it as her father, just her superior. Nessira opened the box hoping it wasn't what she thought it was. Alas, it sure as hell was. A gown, black, of course, that had cascading fabrics and an open back. The girl sighed and ran her hand through her still wet hair, she would do what her father wished, but it didn't mean that she would like it. As Nessira was getting presentable for the event her mind was racing with whoever her father had in mind to betroth her to. If and when it does happen, she would forever be stuck where she is, but with the added weight of a man on her arm. All she wanted to do was do what her mother finally had the guts and the means to do, get the hell out of the clutches of the First Order. She peered over at the clock, the event was starting at this very minute. Nessira smiled to herself, her father never said she had to be on time.  
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The event was in full swing, women smiling on men's arms with drinks in their hands. Nessira rolled her eyes as people passed and beamed in her direction, then she glanced across the room and saw Admiral Amriel speaking to General Hux, and when he saw her, his smile faded. She glided her way over to him with a big fake smile.

"Hello, Father. General Hux," she said cocking her head to the side and throwing her hair over her shoulder.

"Good to see you have finally graced us with your presence, Nessira. General, this is my daughter," The Admiral stated to the general. His face twisted, her assumed because he had caught wind of her feeble attempt to leave, "Anyways, excuse me, General, I have to introduce my daughter to her betrothed," Nessira's face scrunched up before her mouth dropped open. The Admiral grabbed her lightly by the elbow and whisked her away to a remote corner. 

"It's happening already, Father?" Nessira said sternly in hushed tones, "You know I'm not ready for this yet!"

"It's happening Nessira, you are too damn reckless, and I can't keep you under control anymore. This is what happens when you keep up with your attempts to leave us."

"Well, who is it? This can't be good. It seems like a rushed decision, given I just got back from almost being gone-"

"Oh no, you see this has been in the works for a while, specifically from the Supreme Leader. It just has now been fast-tracked, and that's your doing, Daughter," He said and as he was doing so, Commander Kylo Ren and his gaggle of goons busted in and the room went silent. Then his voice boomed from the helmet that he was adorned on his head and face.

"As you were," it was short and sweet and the entire room did exactly what he said. Out of fear? Maybe. He sure as hell scared Nessira.

"Like clockwork, he appears," Admiral Amriel said with a sly smile, nodding over in the Commander's direction. Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.

"No way! Father no! Anyone else, I'll do anything!" She almost screamed and he hushed her.

"Yes, Nessira. It will happen, whether you like it or not, you will marry him. It will keep you stationary, and I won't have to worry about you as much. He will for sure keep an eye on you," Her eyes dropped to the floor and a tear threatened to roll out. If she marries Commander Ren, she will never get the chance to escape, again. Her father grabbed her again and tapped the underside of her chin, instructing to hold it high. Nessira did and smiled fakely, and her father smiled. The entire walk over to Commander Ren, Nessira's heart was racing and the blood was rushing through her head, and it was roaring in her head. They stopped dead in front of him, he was incredibly tall and wide, very intimidating, she could see his eyes but she could feel them all over her.

"Commander, this is my daughter, Nessira Amriel. Ness, this is Commander Ren," Her father said proudly. Nessira was at a loss for words so she just smiled and held her hand up and wiggled her fingers in a subtle wave. The Commander barely moved.

"So this is the daughter you speak so lowly of," He said in a monotone voice, muffled by the apparatus over his face. Nessira scoffed and looked in the other direction, her father gave her a glare.

"The one and only. Nice to know you have heard of me, I feel so famous," She said in a sarcastic tone.

"Nessira, play nice. Know your place and who you are speaking to-" The Admiral was cut off by the Commander's hand coming up in silence.

"No need, Admiral. This will be a fun one to break," He stated. Nessira turned on her heels and headed for someone with drinks on a tray and grabbed two for herself and downed them one after the other. It was going to be a long night, she was surprised with the words she used, she was still alive. The Commander was known to have a temper and more than a few people have had their necks snapped, with no contact at all. The Commander could do whatever he wanted from across the starship, that was something Nessira never wanted to experience. However, even that night after she had walked away from them and out the door, she felt as if someone was close by, the hair ever layed back down on her neck. As she stumbled slightly to the front door of her quarters, she saw the note on the door. In her Father's handwriting.

"The fast-track means you are no longer permitted to have your own quarters. Your belongings have been moved to the Commander's quarters. Report there immediately." -Admiral Amriel

Fuck. It has already started.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is day one of Nessira's obligations of being the Fiancee to Commander Kylo Ren. She gets a little taste of what she has to do for the rest of her life.

No matter how many times Nessira pressed the keypad to her quarters, it refused to open. She groaned loudly and struck the keypad with her closed fist, in a last failed attempt to get into what once was her safe haven. She slammed her back against the wall and slid to the floor, sitting there for a few moments in the empty hallway. Mustering up the courage to head for the Commander's quarters, her head was buzzing with thoughts of never being able to even attempt to leave. She got up and sighed, knowing she couldn't just sit there all night. Ness was taking her sweet time to get to her final destination, definitely not excited to enter the hornet's nest. Commander Kylo Ren was truly terrifying, she couldn't even imagine what he did when he was alone with someone, he for sure did not hold back when it came to being around people. Did her father want her dead? Was that the goal of all of this? Most likely, then he wouldn't have to worry about his only daughter's reputation for being a flight risk. The closer she got to the other end of the ship, where the superiors hung their hats, the dread really started to sink in. It felt as if she wasn't alone, she really didn't even know where she was going, but her feet carried her along as if she did. All the way at the end of the hallway, she stopped suddenly, this was the most secluded area of the ship. This was where she was supposed to be, where she will remain the rest of her days. 

Nessira approached the keypad and pressed her fingers against it, they fling open with a hiss. Her heart was racing and she stepped in looking around, heel clicking loudly on the floor. There was nobody in sight, from what she could make out. The room was only glowing from very dim lights placed sparingly around it. It was almost eerie how dark that it really was, she felt foreign in a place that was now seemingly hers. She had to really find a way to get out of this one.

"You made it, finally," She heard a voice from behind her and it made her jump out of her skin. Her heart skipped a beat and then began racing once more. Slowly, Nessira turned on her heels and the Commander was standing directly behind her. How the hell did he approach her without her noticing? Another thing caught her off guard, no helmet, no heavy clothing. For some reason she was under the impression he wasn't a man under it all, oh, but he was. 

"Um, yeah. I couldn't get into my quarters. I was taking my time to get here. You know as well as everyone else here, I don't want to be here," She said attempting to keep her cold, tough exterior, when on the inside she was screaming. He did not seem fazed by her snarky comment, just stepped around her and over to the dresser by the large bed. 

"Trust me, the feeling is mutual. I have many more important things to do than worry about keeping a wife in check," he said in a monotone voice, "By the way, all of your belongings are in here. Even the bag that was hidden in your little compartment in the wall. You need to learn to keep your personal items in a better hiding place." 

"Well, there are only so many places I am able to hide things to make a quick getaway. Don't think that just because I'm here I won't try to leave again."

"Oh, I'm looking forward to you trying. If what you were doing before could be considered trying."

"Look, It's obvious you don't like me, I don't like you, lets just make this simple. I'll grab my things, you will look the other way and I will be out of your fluffy hair forever," Nessira stated, changing her stance and crossing her arms over her chest and cocking her head to the side. He responded in kind, leaning against the dresser and mocking her stance. 

"I wish that was how it works, the Supreme Leader was very clear as to what will happen. You will stay, we will marry, whether we like it or not," He then took a few steps over to her landing directly in front of her and leaned into her, "And who said I didn't like you?" Nessira's breath caught in her throat, and he glided away into the other room, the automatic door shutting behind him. It wasn't until then the breath she had been holding in escaped and relief washed over her body. She finally felt as if she was alone, like he finally left her to marinade in her thoughts by herself. By then her eyes had adjusted to the darkness of the room. It was so much more spacious than any other quarters she had ever been in. She had no idea what room Ren went into, but it seemed to be none of her business. Looking around, to see if he was actually gone she finally took of the monstrosity her father picked out for her, and slipped on her night clothes. She wasn't quite sure where to go from there, were they sleeping together? She wasn't trying to be presumptuous so she sat on a sofa on the other side of the room and just started at the ceiling, a tear slipped out of her eye at the thought of what her life will be now. A lot of sitting around and waiting around for a man she didn't even want, being subservient to him, having to do whatever he asked. She tried to shake the thoughts out of her head and curled up, trying to drift off.

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When Nessira woke up she was in the bed, not on the sofa where she fell asleep. Did he move her? Did she move over there and not know it? And more importantly, where was Kylo Ren? The sound of boots pulled her out of her thoughts, as if right on cue, he was looming over her. Eyes still groggy from sleep blinked in disbelief trying to better make out his shape and then popped open realizing what was happening.

"This is where you sleep, please do so, so I don't have to carry you again," He said, in the same monotone voice. He was already up and dressed in his normal garb, and she was hyper aware of how under dressed she was.

"O- Okay. Um, where are you sleeping exactly?" She said sitting up in bed and hugging the sheets to her chest in an attempt to seem less vulnerable.

"Don't be daft, right on the other side of you. Now get up and get dressed. We have obligations today," and before Nessira could protest, he was striding to the other side of the room, sitting in a chair and placing boots on his feet. He glanced over at her as if to say, 'Well we don't have all day.' Nessira hopped up out of bed and walked over to the dressed that contained her whole life. She was then struck with the icy realization, she had to get undressed in front of him. 

"Can you, um, like turn around or something? I'm not really ready for, um, you know," She stuttered, a blush rising to her face, and he swiveled the chair around to where he was facing the wall. He didn't even bat an eye. Thank god, at least it was easy, she was under the impression it would be a lot harder to get him to do anything other than what he wanted to do. She quickly got dressed in her usual black pants and plain black off shoulder sweater. She wasn't exactly sure what obligations they had and how to dress for them. She threw her hair into a low side pony-tail. "Okay, it's, uh, safe? I guess."

He was already standing and turned from the wall, glancing at her up and down. He slowly walked over and circled around her. He shrugged.

"Well, it's good to know I look presentable, Commander," She said sarcastically, "You know, I don't need your approval."

"You're right, you don't," He grumbled, "I just wanted to get a good look at you. So I can get an idea of what I signed up for, considering you just made me face the wall while you dressed." She froze, She could feel his breath on her skin, he was standing so close. She didn't notice how handsome he really was last night

"So, uh, what exactly do we have to do?" Her voice was almost a whisper, she had never been so intimidated by another person in her entire existence. 

"Planning for the union. Don't worry, its just a normal, formal meeting, all you have to do is be there." He then walked over the entrance and the doors opened, placed the helmet on his head and extended his hand out of the doors. Gesturing her to leave first. Nessira rushed out of the door and into the still, empty hallway. They walked side-by-side in complete silence the entire way to the conference room. She wasn't quite sure how to compose herself, being the fiancee of the Kylo Ren. Was she supposed to act a certain way? Change herself in some way? If she was, she sure didn't want to. They walked in and the only people there were, her father, General Hux, and a few other nameless superior officers Nessira had seen but never cared to know. The room went silent and her father strode over to her and grabbed her by the elbow, and escorted her to the corner and placed her in the chair.

"Please sit here and say nothing, Nessira." She nodded, sitting back and crossing her legs, folding her arms over her chest. The men in the room then took their places, and started discussing the plans to end her life as she knew it. And all she could do was sit in silence. Three days. Three days and she would be the wife of Kylo Ren. Three days until the end. She sighed and slumped in her chair.

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The rest of her 'obligations' for the day, was following her, so called, fiance around in silence as he barked orders, and spread terror around the ship. She had heard stories about him, but seeing it in person was a completely different story. Anytime he was ordering people around, or throwing a fit because they gave him news he did not want to hear, they would look at her and she could practically see the pity behind their eyes. She accepted their pity, it was only a matter of time when she was at the mercy of his grip. Not wanting to stick around that long, she would most surely lose her life. It seems as if every deed he did, he did with no effort, and no remorse. Without saying a word, just the tilt of his head, back to his- their quarters they went. He hadn't said as much as a word to her since the morning before they headed out, Nessira wondered if he would ever speak to her in public, or if she was going to be a quiet whisper in his life. The door hissed with a shut behind her and it made her flinch, she was on edge since they had left. He slid his helmet off and it hit the table with a bang.

"You can relax you know, I'm not going to do anything to you, Supreme Leader's orders."

"So if that wasn't the case, you would have done away with me by now?" Nessira couldn't see his face, but she could have swore she heard him chuckle lowly to himself. She couldn't believe her ears, she was convinced it was a trick of her imagination. He turned and stalked, slowly over to her, once again very close. Almost too close for comfort, he was looking a little too deep into her eyes.

"No. We are to be married, I would assume both of us will eventually get something out of it," She recoiled slightly, ever so slightly, at what he was insinuating. Her head was screaming to get as much distance between them as possible, her body, however, was telling a different story. It betrayed her in a way it never had before, almost leaning towards his body, back arched slightly. He placed a gloved hand firmly on her lower back, below the arch, pulling her into himself.

"What are you doing?" She whispered, voice unable to get any louder being in such close proximity to him. She realized, they had never touched each other before now. The electricity she felt was palpable. He did not answer her, only dipped his head down to place light, barely there kisses to her exposed clavicle. They made her shiver, she wasn't able to tell if it was the action, or her coming to terms who was doing this to her, and why she wasn't pulling away. She didn't, but he did, putting much needed space between them. A breath left her body shakily and her shoulders slumped slightly, the tension releasing all at once. That was the most gentle she has even seen the Commander with anybody, and just as quickly as it came, it was gone. He was sitting on the bed, taking off the extra articles of clothing he always wore.

"I'll be in the bathroom if you need me, I just need a minute," and with that she rushed off to the bathroom and the door closed quickly behind her. Nessira pushed her back against it, hyperventilating, she was confused by the way her body had betrayed her. How could she hate and want someone so badly? She turned on the water to blistering hot, hoping it would burn off any trace of his hands and lips on her body. The water coated her all over and turned her skin red, but she still felt him all over her. It was as if the water wasn't the thing that ignited her. Nessira turned the water off and stepped out, wrapping herself in a towel before exiting the bathroom. Eyes scanning the room, Kylo now laying in the bed, eyes glued to the ceiling.

"You know, its not really possible to keep things from me. I can see into your mind's eye. Your thoughts while in there were amusing."

"You just did that earlier to mess with me didn't you?"

"Yes. It seems like it worked."

"You can't do that. I'm not your fucking plaything. If I'm going to be forced into this, you will respect me," She said calmly, wrapping the towel around her body tighter. He didn't even look at her, "Look at me when I'm talking to you," she didn't realize what she had said until moments later and froze. Shit, Shit Shit. He slowly turned his head towards her, now she had wished she had clothed herself before walking into a bear trap. He sat up in bed and swung his legs over the side and planted them firmly on the ground. 

"Come here," he ordered in a quiet voice, very much out of character. Nessira found her feet slowly padding in his direction, until she was directly in front of him, "I'm listening," Nessira's eyes widened. Her words were caught in her throat, he was lower than her now, gazing up at her waiting for a response. It wasn't verbal, it was physical, she tested the waters and wrapped her arms around his neck, hands linking behind it. His only movement was placing his hands on her hips, pulling her slightly closer, until his chin was resting on her breastbone.

"I, um, forgot what I was gonna say," She said, her breath heavy, shaking her words. His hand dipped to her knee, pulling it forward onto the bed so she was straddling him. Nessira took a deep breath in, unsure how to respond to such an act.

"Then no talking," That was enough for her, their lips collided and suddenly they were entangled. Lips moving in sync with each other, hands were roaming, the only thing that separated them was the wet towel that had already slipped off of her back and was dangling between them. Without missing a beat he grabbed the corner and ripped it away, she pulled away and gasped, she had never been this vulnerable for anyone before. She was grateful that they were so close so he couldn't see all of her. No doubt, he had read her mind, because at the same instance he flipped them around so he was looming over her. His eyes trailed over her body, drinking her in, then a heat spread to her face and she attempted to cover herself, "Don't, let me see you."

"I haven't," Nessira started to speak, and the nerves caught her words, "I've never-"

"It's okay, It can wait. Just wanted to see you," he whispered and in a split second he was up and across the room. Nessira grabbed the sheets and covered herself, "Go ahead and get dressed, I will join you shortly." He left the room and she heard the shower running shortly after. She wondered if it was a cold one, she chuckled at the thought. She wasn't going to make it easy on him, how long could she hold out on him? She quickly dressed and got into her side of the bed, when he finally emerged he was already dressed, not giving her the satisfaction that he had. He slid in next to her, keeping a small distance and the lights dimmed into a very low light. He was quiet for a long few minutes.

"Hey, you know, you can come a little closer if you want," Nessira whispered. Kylo exhaled as if he was holding the breath in the whole time and turned towards her, pulling her in to where her body was flush with his, her head was level with his chest. Any other day, she would have been rigid, horrified to be this close to him, but after the day she had, her body seemed to melt into the embrace. Maybe, just maybe, this arrangement wouldn't be so bad.


End file.
